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I suppose some musicians chose to be in the business for fame and fortune, some people just love the adrenaline rush and buzz of displaying their skill and/or passion very publicly but I suspect there are many musicians, both full time and closet who have a very different motivation.
I found that when my playing reached a certain level of fluency I was able to express what I was feeling in the moment through the song (or tune), rather than just play the notes I had learned. As I listened to the music I was playing I heard qualities in it that were more than, or deeper than, I was consciously putting into it. Where was that coming from? Who was playing that “extra bit”?
From my readings about human psychology I would now call the source of that “extra” the subconscious. That’s simply a useful word to describe everything that’s going on in our minds, emotions, psyche, even body functions, that we are not consciously aware of at any given moment. It encompasses the accumulated wisdom of our genetic origins, our cultural background, all our personal life experiences to date and also a deeper, essential “self” than we are usually aware of.
We all have our subconscious but, according to our nature, each one operates and communicates to us in different ways. Some people “listen” to theirs while others try to fight it or dictate to it. Painters, musicians and other artists may pay more attention to their inner depths than most people, perhaps because that is where our everyday selves can plunge in, dissolve and actually meet with The Music, The Image or The Voice.
When musicians get into that inner space we hear The Music and as we bring that into the physical world of hearing it gets coloured by our personalities. But it is not really our music, the Music just is, and through the inexact filter of our culture, personal tastes and technical abilities we try to make audible our “cover version” of what we have heard in the subconscious. So, if the music we play has added depth and meaning, we can be sure that will be in direct proportion to how deep we have been prepared to dive on our inner journey of self discovery as congruent, feeling human and perhaps spiritual beings.
Does that sound too much? Oh well, listen to the difference between Radio 1 and Classic FM; between Paco de Lucia, Tony McManus, Pierre Bensusan, Leo Kotke, Martin Taylor, Stevie Vai (even me) and you will hear they all come from different “spaces” and depths.
The real questions are: Where will go and how deep (will it sound like Ms Spears, Bach, Celtic, Jazz, Flamenco or something else quite new? Which will you listen to and/or play? The choice is, of course, yours!
Ben Edom
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